If at any point in your divorce proceedings you feel compelled to publicize any aspect of your divorce – don’t. It never ceases to amaze me what people will post on Facebook or other social media sites about their divorce, their ex or themselves. I suspect it has to do with the gratification of having a public forum readily available, surrounded by online “friends” who will support you no matter what you say. But remember: Facebook “friends” are not real friends and vindication by carefully crafting your post so as to only tell one side of the story is not true vindication. In fact, it is meaningless.
More importantly, it can be destructive beyond belief. First, comments made online have a tendency to get back to your ex, a friend of your ex or – God forbid – your children or your children’s friends. Worse yet, your public, online statements frequently end up in front of the judge.
But it’s not just negative comments about your ex or his/her new significant other that can lead to trouble. Enter: the selfie.
Why do we feel the need to post pictures of ourselves engaging in ridiculous, dangerous (or, worse, illegal) behaviors? Drinking, partying and general carousing is fine within reason, but it should not be your online public persona. Selfies depicting wild and crazy antics will undoubtedly end up being used against you and will be shown to the court.
The best rule of thumb is: don’t post anything you wouldn’t want a judge to see. And if you have any doubt, don’t post.
Attempting to litigate your case in the court of public opinion is almost never a good idea. Trying to prove that you have “moved on” by posting pictures of yourself acting like a frat boy is a sure-fire way to damage your case.
If you need support, talk to your counselor. Or a real live friend. They listen better.